Erin's Latest Obsession: Parenting books
ok, so does anyone else find themselves addicted to parenting books? I think it is a problem. Last semester I didn't even do all my reading for my class - instead I spent all my spare time trying to find out exactly what Ella was doing and why she was doing it. I needed to know what normal, developmentally regular babies are supposed to do at each stage - and then I panicked if Ella wasn't doing it.
Pathetic? Well, maybe. But what do you do when you feel completely clueless about what to do with this helpless infant entrusted to you and totally dependent upon YOU to make the right decisions? You read every book you can get your hands on, that's what you do. And each new book promises to be THE ANSWER to all your problems. But, then, it isn't. And it is so annoying because the experts totally don't even agree. So, how is a clueless mom like me supposed to know what to do?
How, you ask, have I managed to function with such insane expectations and thoughts in my weird little head? It hasn't been easy. Prayer (lots of it, that goes something like: God, help my baby go to sleep) and talking to my much calmer, more grounded husband. He reminds me that there is not just one way to raise a child well, that every child is different and won't follow the books all the time, and that I have to stop being afraid of making mistakes. When all's said and done, I might as well accept that she will need a therapist someday, anyway. ;)
posted by Ian Batstone at 5:42 PM
8 Comments:
i read a lot of books with ellen and not so many now. now i really just look stuff up when one of them seems sick. but like i said i read a lot with ellen. but like you've discovered, everyone had a different sure fire plan and they're usually way different. that's kinda way i stopped reading them - there was no way i could do it all and i started getting kinda overwhelmed. and ellen turned out okay so far. she did walk way late but i didn't really even realize that was so late until the doctor told me. but again it turned out to be no big deal. i say obsess about blogging instead.
hey! i've prayed that prayer too! lots and lots!
Hey just relax and enjoy her and what she does!
talk to Faerie. She did really well with Patty. :D And when ever she talks about that sort of stuff, she mentions a particular writer, i'll have to ask her who it was. *grin* I cant wait to see you! **Hugs**
Well that sounds like it just might be the introduction to your book.
Googoosh
RN, RN, RN... you're going to drive yourself insane!... at least no one can say your heart isn't in the right place, though!... i think maybe what you need to do is TRUST yourself, TRUST your instincts and listen to Ella and watch for her signals... maybe what she's crying about is the fact that she can't completely communicate with you and is so frustrated that she can't tell you her gums hurt and she doesn't understand the noises you make everyday actually mean something and life is just so overwhelming right now learning not just SOMETHING new every day but a BILLION new somethings EVERY day, like how to get her WHOLE fist into her mouth rather than just the back of her hand.......... ya never know.... seriously, just when you think you've got Ella completely figured out, along comes Ella's brother or sister and you'll be back at ground zero again because the new sibling won't be anything like Ella nor follow any of the guidelines in the New and Improved parenting books and you'll be back to banging your head against the wall (only FIGURATIVELY of course)... believe me, i haven't been an aunt for 20 years for nothing (except for the fact that i can only comment on your situation as an outsider and not an actual parent... when that day comes, roles'll be reversed and you'll be comforting ME that my child isn't following every chart, statistic, and national percentile as expected)... i've watched all 9 nephews (and now a niece!) all turn out to be unique individuals, even tho some were siblings and grew up in the same environments... all babies really need is love and attention to grow up happy and healthy and you're already doing a great job by being able to be home with her every day.... kids are like snowflakes-- they're each individual and react to situations in their own unique way... Ella will grow up to be a wonderful human being because both you and Ian are trying so hard to be good parents and are succeeding so well......
how's that for therapy?
hmmmm.... that should be a capital L and capital N... well, you know who i am ;-)
Hello Erin,
Put down the books, You will drive yourself crazy tring to keep up with the statistics. the old saying is"Parenting has no handbooks" But good advice comes from the old school mothers, who really did not have parenting books like today. I am the first born for my family and my mother tried to follow Dr.Spook (I think thats his/her name) this person did not have any children. Imagine that. Anyway trial and error , with many many prayers will pull you through parenthood. Form seeing Ella in church and how alert she is "Job well done". And yes baby rules.
Dorian- from Faith....
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